end of 2009

nearly end of the year .
perhaps i'm gonna be a new strong person on the next year .
yeap , really hope so .

whole these years , wild crazy fer me .

all the fights , the backstabbers , the problems , the end of relationship , the new hot guys i've been crush [err singers only ;) ] , the scandals , the new bf , the heartbroken , etc ..

so many huh ???

and that it's what i called as drama queen .

all the daily routines from the beginning to the end of the journey .

but my journey just started , it won't end up easily yeah i guess .

i've met many types of people on this earth .
sometimes , it just make my eyes and my mind open up wider than before .
lots of behavior from alot of kinkies , some may just ruin us but some are pushing us to be more better .

i always met someone , yet falling in love to a person whom don't even know how to appriciate me . at least , for god sake , just appriciate my appearance that's all .
i'm not asking for more . :(

being heartbroken for several thousand times by the same person is pethatic isn't it ?

thus , i'm a very stupid person on this world whom always been treated like that .

my own bf , cheated on me [ now currently my ex] . not once , but i think more than fifth times .. still on that time i'd waited for him to change . haha . i took a very long time perhaps to let him go . 3 years we've been together but i'm just nothing to him . just a kampung girl nervely for his love and loyality .

but then again , it happened again to me .

i can't help by falling in love .

HIM , is the perfect guy for me and i love him whole heartly .

the one that approve me and accept me the way i am .
the one that full sense of humor .
the one who makes me laugh .
the one who scold me enough .

and yet the one whom HURT me badly .

you are my future sayang , of course i can't let you go off me .
but please stop hurtin' me even more would you ?

the past is ruin me .

just give me the chance to proof it to you .

that i just love you no matter how bad you treat me so .

ahhhahaha !!

i think i'm gonna cry .
lets end this up .

to a bright new year , hope so .

happy new year fellas !

drama queen

it's 2.57am in the morning and i feel like my heart is having a HUGE hole .

it starts with joy and laughs when farah called me . having a chit-chat , gosipping and share our own stories like before is really satisfied me .

plus when i got back all my old fellow friends and ex-schoolmates , it makes me more happier tonight .

knowing bout the wedding of my ex-classmate and hell yeah pretty sure i'm shocked [ and still thus ] and i think that i'm very thankful for having 'em back in my life again .

but ....

i went online on my someone's ..

and he seems happy ..

which he never deserved it !

why ?

why i felt like been punched from my behind ?

and why i feel terribly lost right now ??

i need to talk to my sayang but he's not even switch on his phone .

i really2 don't know what to do right now .

am i still loving him ?

if not , why must this tears fall down right now ??

tlg ...

xpnh lgsg ingt die dah ..

tlg ...

i'm strong enough right ? ....

A VERY LONG HOLIDAYS

wow !!!

it's been a while i didn't write huh ?
overall , this semester break is very2 hectic and i have to go on through it boreness ..

bosan !!! makan , tido , texting jap , tgk tv and repeated all over again ! :(

besides dreaming of my new SWEETHEART adam labby baby ADAM LAMBERT , i think there's nothing can make me breath rite now .

haha ! kinda flirt but i still ain't pervert .

hurm . there's alot things that had happened to me .

a very long tiring holidays actually .

besides living alone in a house more often , and several break up , fights and so on .. i think it's close than before .

still the same things going on .

same routines .

same person that hurting me over and over again .

huwaaaa !!!!!

i hate holidays !!!!

it make me sick !!!

btw , thank god i still have my old fellas . yeah i know , some people changed , but some are still going still and just be themself [ the one that i know before ] .

hari tu lepak lepak dengan ema dekat silibin . huhu . miss her !!!

and thank god , masa tak mengubah die . she's still the same ema , my ever bestfriend .

and she always there whenever i need her .

tak lame kitorg hanging out . ade la dalam due hari . tapi itu pun due hari yg bermakne untuk aku . [ even the kfc burger yg kecik gile babi buat kau mengamok sampai bantai aku punye seaweed sampai habis , aku tetap gak nak kate itu hari2 paling bahagie aku !!! ;) ]

haha ! for god sake i miss my old school !!

macam2 benda kite nak tempuh bile dah meningkat dewasa ni . [err belum tue lagi eh !!]

macam biase , orang lebih suke menghargai bende2 yang dah lepas .

lumrah hidup kan ? suke menyesal bile bende dah jadi .

time is gold .

but when something really bad happened to you , then on that time baru nak sedar menghargai mase .

now , it's nearly to the new 2010 year .

bile nak masuk kampus nak register pon aku tak tau .

uitm student portal sucks !!!!

at least leave a msg la , tak pon buat announce ke when we can go back and reg .

biar la kitorg buat preparation a week before we're going back to the hell campus !!

tak leh pakai la .

aku ni dah la rumah jauh berbatu2 .
brg2 banyak lagi nak angkot .

siot !!!!

hurh .

i think that's all fer today .

CLEARANCE and PACKING (wootwoot!)

gaahahaaa !!!
masa pengemasan bilik dan balik !!
bubbye UiTM ! hello home sweet home ;DD
sigh . tak tau nak tulis ape actually
berzaman dah sangat tak bukak blog .
busy nak mampos dengan final , assignments , love things .. so on . ;(

whatever it is , i'd done with my final .
and now whole sem break ni , nak buat ape huh ?

short sem cuti tak panjang .
boleh ke aku keje ?
haha !!
confirm tak sampai sehari aku dah cabot cam dulu . ngeeee .

erm time's travel is flying so fast .
sedarsedar dah part 4 .
2 more sem to go .
then , grad . tak sabar kan ?

i miss my fellas girldfriends on a sudden .
hurm .
bila boleh jumpa bitches ? ;DD

B pulak ?
imissyouevenmore .

hurm . rinduuuuuuu lah weh babi rinduuuuuu .
hadoi .
everything changed .
even people that i know also changed .
find back yourself guys .


HAHHHHHH !!

that day , i went and watched 2012 with my roomies and other hot bitches .
bapak menangis dalam wayang tuh .
the movie was superb but the ending was suck !
it should be the end of the day .
but why all the peole are safe ? entah . mat saleh punya cerita kan ?
but all the effects , the graphic are done so well .

macam betulbatul dunia nak kiamat .
go and watch yourself .
i give 5star and a half .
insaf mase tu . huhuhu .
tak pernah nangisnangis tgk movie dalam wayang weh . heee !

i have to continue back all my pack-e-gings .
ada masa jumpe lg !

minimanymainymore

9th SEPTEMBER 2009

Eid day is coming soon . Assignments are getting bersepah like bugs . [ why must bugs ? ]
me even ain't sleep yet now . nah , 5.45am in the morning .
btw , due to my health condition which getting more worst than before PLUS all the heart feelings condition yang macam motherfather woopsy blabla hell , i feel like wanna puke someone ! [ again , why must puke ? ]

argggghhhhhhhhh .. tense oh the fucking course ! and i don't know why i am cursing here . haha !
i need to go for my neurological checkup for my head , x-ray blabla and so on but i didn't .
aku banyak kerja la nak buat wehhh ! go to hell with my healthness . malas pikir dowh !

and YOU !!!!
YES YOU !!!!

IHATEYOU !!!

why must you make me cry over again ?
damn you !

for you [ you know who you are ] , go learn some manners . you can hurt me over and over but i still have my own pride . i really hate the way you treat me . i do have feelings .

ahh babi . asek2 benda sama aku nk tulis , benda sama aku nak cakap .
do whatever so on lahh .
i dont care .

i hate you .
really i do .

awake

sigh . i didn't go for two classes today .
my condition is getting worse .

i can laugh , being fun , making jokes , smiles widely like usual but deep inside , i know that there is something isn't right with me .
i can pretend like nothing had happened , but it just making me more pethatic about myself .

i woke up from bed and went to the clinic .
the doc advise me to go to the specialist centre and do the appointment for my medical checkup .

i'm always fainted .
my visions goes blank for several times this week .

the doc is still talking to me (too much of advises) and i didn't hear at all .
haha .

btw , of course i'm worried bout myself .

should i go to the hkl ?

fainted and collapsed

2nd of september 2009 .

ahahaha . i don't know how to tell this .

for the first time in my life , i was fainted in class during lessons period .

gouch . at the moment i realized that i'll collapse .
i'd told 'mak' and 'merey' that i will collapse anytime .
gaha ! told you so !

tak pasal je aku pengsan dalam kelas puan fariza . huhu .
she must be worried like hell kan ?
tetibe je panggil name aku then aku pengsan .

i don't know why .
i just felt something wasn't right .
like something's gonna happen to me which i didn't know what it was .

but for sure , semua orang kat studio macam turun padang angkat aku .
haha . of course lahh no one will larat to carry me right .
ahahahahahaha !

dah lah masa mula2 collapse , the whole class like didn't know what to do .
merey told me so .
they all like , just watching me tumbang and sit still on their place .
for at least after few minutes , baru semua macam kelam kabut nk angkat .
poor me right ? T.T


for god sake , i didn't know who were actually that carried me out from class until puan fariza's car .
but i just wanna say THANK YOU to all of you .
my classsmates , my seniors , to puan fariza and also puan nik .
A VERY BUNCH THANKS FROM ME !!!

sesampai je depan klinik , the man yang naik kereta dengan puan nik angkat aku ohohoi !
all alone by himself .
wah ! cayalah !
gahahaha .
tu yang merey cakap , lain kali before pengsan , bagitau dia dulu awal2 in case if 'he' will carried me just like now leh gak merey tangkapkan gambar dulu .
ahaha !

mesti puan nik dengan puan fariza terkejut kan ?
poor me . aku tak sedar langsung .
punya la selama ni teringin kena dukung/angkat dengan dia tak tercapai , but now when he already carried me , i was fainted and not in the real world .
i was under conscious .

sepatutnye aku kena masuk drip , but i refused .
enough is enough .
dengar je doc cakap 'masukkan air sebab blood pressure dia rendah', teros aku tolak tangan doc .
masa tu dah macam sedar sikit .
hard decision to make but i just don't want it anymore .
cukuplah .
dah terlalu banyak kali aku kena inject drip .

i don't want to hold on with it anymore again .

i have colestrol , zero amount of imunity , low blood pressure , and high sugar level .

aku sepatutnye kena tahan wad , tapi aku tak nak .

i'm getting more better so i just wanna go to my room .
just get me out of here . (wad yang berbau ubat)
cepat2 aku ajak merey balik yang masa tu tgh teman aku dalam wad before the doc realize i'm gone .


hahahhaa ! nak tahan aku kat wad ????
huh . memang TAK arrr .

btw , a very huge thanks to all , and lepas ni i will be more careful .
take my medicine on time . ( yang actually dah berbulan tak makan )
mom , sorry . i will not repeat this mistake .

haishh , i wonder if she knew i'm fainted .
entah2 dah suruh balik ipoh dah kot .
hihi .


the best part of all , i have to buka puasa !
haha !
itu jelah .
arghh sakit kepala makin menjadi2 .

P/S : sayang, ily .
even kau macam buat tak tau kat aku , tp aku tau kau risau kankan ?
(if not, you wouldn't there , right infront of the clinic and carried me just now kan ?)
merey : 'padahal , dia tak siap lagi keje black and white , sebab tu dia tunggu kau depan klinik sampai kau sedar' .

haha ! babi kau F.I !
nasib baik aku sayang kau ! ;DD

to all readers ; don't forget to eat breakfast , drink alots of water , take a good care of yourself , take your medicines , and so on . (more to myself act)

puan fariza , sorry sangat2 !
cause of me , class have to be canceled .
huhu .
and en mior , perlu ke anda turun padang datang ke wad klinik uitm jua ?
motif ?
haha .

i looooooovvveeeee my lecturers !
they all are soooo soooo caring , protective , and loveable .

i will not regret by being one of the students from the department of photography and creative imaging of UiTM Lendu , Alor Gajah Malacca .